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Writer's Block: Lightbulb Goes Off

Fri, 11 Apr 2008 09:01:49 GMT

What was the last great epiphany you had?

washington bureaucracy, liberals, and cops. </lj-template>

well
new journal fail
this journal fail
so lets keep it simple and just have one

life is happening.

i think its a bad thing that thats all i can say about it, because it makes me realize even more that i'm not taking a very active part in it.

solidarity
anthropology
watching

taking part?

i want those fake friends that "everyone" gets when they go to school just so they have something to do.
curses to real relationships

i should actually submit this because it is not getting nearly enough appreciation sitting in a facebook album

i'm crushin on 3 people (well technically 4 but . . . its not going to happen again for awhile)
and its a little strange
in the brain
not in the world
don't forget!

romeo, juliet, samson and delilah.

Sun, 06 Apr 2008 11:43:03 GMT

am i awake too early or did i stay up too late?

???

Sat, 15 Mar 2008 06:41:08 GMT

i think i'm starting over

no real reason

but if anyone out there reads this and wants the link i'll consider

lamestupidpointless

but i lost my journal of the last year on the muni and want to have at least something to keep

Tue, 08 Jan 2008 09:10:35 GMT

2.35

hmmm

i miss living.
i miss best friends.
i miss sleeping. i cant escape myself. i cant escape anyone. convulsing my way through a dream is not refreshing.

i dont miss indie chixxx
i dont miss indie dixx
i question elite music tastes
and how this can all appear out of nowhere

people change.
i understand. my judgement has and will always be wrong if it can be this drastic, this fast.

i would like income. cash moneyz. i spend 5 dollars everytime i drive or 1.50

i am content sitting. "in exotic locations preferably with a snack."
i enjoy myself a drink, or two. but relaxing in the comfort of _____ is what i really hope for.
somewhere to be yourself, where everyone is just as happy as you are.

over break i've been able to surround myself with friends
but its making me feel even more like something is missing. cliche!

but im finding out so much about (the unstable side of) myself!

LOVE

Tue, 04 Dec 2007 19:41:53 GMT

the multiple choice exam is going to be the end of me.
i get half 22/40 on the multiple choice and 9/10 on the written.
9/15 multiple choice, 52/55 written

two f classes, an a, and a b

maybe i just need to take classes that im interested in or something.
im really not stupid right?

Wed, 07 Nov 2007 03:54:16 GMT

ummmmmm

get
it

bleh

Sat, 20 Oct 2007 10:37:03 GMT

well shit.

thanks so much.

Wed, 10 Oct 2007 01:29:35 GMT

WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME

Thu, 13 Sep 2007 19:37:41 GMT

finally this bitch has housing
3 weeks exactly have gone by
but at least i'm set now!
and my computer finally came

woo hoo

now to make some friends . . . .

its weird. i dont want to like, feel bad for myself
but i must say that i'm jealous of everyone elses awesome college fun
because i have yet to have any
my fault probs but hopefully i figure out what i need to do to be happier

Wed, 01 Aug 2007 22:30:24 GMT

DHARP

so i got a job, made it to harry and the potters and the a bats and bad fucking credit for the last time ever probs and missed placebo last night
how did i do that?
double dharp

abercrombie isn't really that fun, but they want me to not quit and come back to work on christmas etc. breaks
maybe i will
some more billz would be cool i guess
but its not like i've made that much so far
i keep the discount though?

anywho, what inspired this post was how ecstatic i am about getting my new computer and even more so since i saw/ heard the devo soundtracked commercial for it.
maybe it wasnt the best choice to get a dell instead of a macbook but i'm really excited and i think its going to be great
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xhtgw-tOj-o
check it out bros!

i leave for school in 22 days
and i am now number ~~149~~ 55 37 on the housing waiting list
so send good vibes my way and hopefully i'll have somewhere to live

i've only been up to north county once or twice since school got out and it is making me a little upset.
so everyone better make it down here to ski beach for my birfdai party! august 15th
but more on that later

also i feel like i'm further apart from my best friends than ever (physically and mentally, japan, arizona, virginia, and then leaving chelc here)
i feel like i'm already just another face in the crowd to them
i mean, i know them being gone right now is only temporary but soon enough it will be for real and i dont know if i can handle it.
i just hope i'm not the only one who cares

and it'll be weird having kev in sonoma and me and sf next year.
i hope i dont lose it.

Sun, 13 May 2007 23:40:13 GMT

so i decided today that i was going to make a myspace calendar with all the events in the world on it and it was kind of fun

+++ BAD CREDIT JUNE FIRST AHHHHHH

best day of my life
and then i GRADUATE
what the helll

senior prom last night?
chillinnnnnnn
it was over in like 2 seconds
life doesnt exist right now . . . but it does?
i love everything
gettin' a little tipsy, dancing the night away, sunny days, warm air, best friends, driving the 101--almost too good

i think i start COLLEGE on the 28th of August. 18 by a week and a half beezys!
lets see if i'll have someplace to live . . .

job time?
i wish.
someone just ask me to work and i will
i dont want to search and shit.
too much work?
too lazy? dont care? unmotivated? things are just too good without one.
but are they?
blah
stopping

anywho,
everything is good
but
on a bad note: my horoscope tomorrow has a RED LIGHT not just a yellow, and def not the pleasant green go for the whole world. i have RED STOP WHATEVER YOU THINK AND DONT SAY ANYTHING.
scarrreeddddddddddddddddd

bah
ska shows galore it feels this summer.
good news bears :)

Tue, 08 May 2007 00:09:16 GMT

today was the best day ever to drive a convertible around
first of all its fucking 80 degrees outside, so it was a little bit cooler
AND anytime i would pass another one the driver would wave and i would wave back
and it was fun.
it just made me smile
kevin makes me smile too.
sunshine makes me smile too
the rest of my friends make me smile too
ska shows make me smile, no matter how few friends i have at them anymore or how few people i'm with i still love it.
also, HARRY AND THE POTTERS ARE HERE JUNE 25th!

:)
we'll beat some bitch asses if they get mad at us again

i've learned new spells?

hmm

ps: Modest Mouse, Mustard Plug, A-bats, Hawnay Troof, The Faint, RBF,LTJ,Streetlight,andAAA
anyone interested in any? let me knowwwww :)

Mon, 30 Apr 2007 01:57:17 GMT

so madcaps is really really over now?
or something like that.
farewell luncheon was alright, first time since the first one that i stayed the whole time.
i didnt think it would be okay if i said that during my speech, but others proved me wrong.
i cried.
i sort of expected it, but sort of didn't, but its been a common occurence lately for me. crying.
oh well, i deal.
theres about 18 days left of high school+finals and i guess i'm pretty set on san francisco state. i'm happy with it, a little nervous, but i'm nervous going anywhere, even pacific.
oregon is too far, and pacific is too safe. there i would probobly end up an alpha phi because of shayne.
apparently she had all the girls excited for me getting accepted and they were going to make me rush, which would have been kind of cool but then i would be a sorority gurrrl and end up on the madcaps sorority list.
prom is coming up and as usual i dont know whats going on at all.
it should be good this year though. the boat dance was real fun, though plans for after didnt work out really. i hate that sometimes i feel like i need to go out to parites to justify and legitify (?) my high school experience.
its not a feeling i enjoy.
its rooted in my want to not be forgotten. but i dont know why i think hanging out with people who i dont even know and probobly dont recognize me from class will make me not be forgotten. who cares if they remember me?
why does it matter if anyone remembers me?
i feel disconnected from a lot of people, though, who i consider some of my best friends, which is pretty sad.
on a happy note, i played wii last weekend with my brosef and it was real fun.
i want one now so bad, even if i dont have any other games for it.
so fun!
i remember posting a picture last year of the controller thinking "what the hell could this be for?" and now, well, for awhile, i understand.
i got some job applications yesterday.
michaels (take two!) something fun (faux just for the halibut) and payless (though i'm not 18)
i am thinking about going to the bali hai because we've known the owners since my bros t-ball days
but . . . i dont know. i could work with my dad too, but from what i've heard the work that i'd end up doing would suck a fatty. and its all day everyday. which means beach on weekends and not staying up late and sleeping late, so i think that will just be a last resort.
i just need some cash moniez, as usual.
i also need to reserve my copy of harry potter.
i keep thinking about it and not doing it.
like everything else.
my cat is trying to eat a plastic bag right now. its pretty cute.
people in photo class think i have like 470487230474thousand cats because its all i seem to take pictures of. eheheheheahahahefhefo03yur0lawlz.
i'm doing a mini play (?) in drama class about philadelphia and it talks about philly cheese steaks and until just the other day i had never had one. it wasnt that bad, but i had no onions on mine so maybe it was just a fake. who knowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwssss????!
i wish i could have done displace me last night. it seemed like it was going to be real good
and i sort of did a half assed job with gnc. i dont know if it really makes a difference, at least
i was there but . . . eh. it seemed like a fun way to do something good.
madcaps luncheon bringin me dowwnnn

l8z

Tue, 10 Apr 2007 18:52:20 GMT

finally! its sunny for break! :) :) :)

i love everything

Mon, 02 Apr 2007 03:32:38 GMT

four years+ have worked up to this point of my life
and i'm not happy its over
but i'm glad it has happened

Wed, 21 Mar 2007 05:33:09 GMT

thanks david bowie for letting me steal your lyrics for an essay title

loves ya!

Mon, 19 Mar 2007 05:13:06 GMT

this is what we do during

rollin' dice :)

Wed, 28 Feb 2007 04:29:03 GMT

i gave blood today

the needle like . . . wove into my skin, out and then back in. like they were sewing me.
i dont think that was supposed to happen
but i was too scared to say anything.
i think i nearly fainted in the bathroom after
going up the stairs from the gym was a workout
collapsing under a handdryer and not being able to hear <3

american history x presentation was today too
which was fun
sak dubbed it "save the world" day
i dont know every reason why but i'm glad i took part in atleast 2 of them
the lady from the ADL that spoke after the movie was really cool
i wish i had stayed longer after but i thought i had to get to madcaps
then i found out i didnt have to be there till 630 so i got to actually chill out for a bit
and eat some mo foods
and then i went
and it was pretty pointless
andi was the only one that admitted that i didnt know the words to the mom song

and i got my dress back from the seamstress
i'm not very happy with it.
i'm not in love with the dress, honestly. which is a little disappointing.
but the shoes, amazing.
so hopefully they'll make up for it

econ is no fun
drama class is okay
drama footloose style is alright
minner is awesome
i miss deange
mcmurt is . . . scary unless you've done your homework
mcclean is really cool, i just wish that i had more to contribute to the class all the time
and photo is chill
i think sobz likes me

overall things are good.

oh, i also am lookin for cars
and my dad knows someone from work whos mom will sell me a convertible sunfire, which is cool. i mean, i wouldnt ever pick it out as a car for me, but its a convertible for my first car. i'm not so sure i could turn that down. but my heart isnt set, because we havent made any deals yet or anything.

Wed, 21 Feb 2007 02:03:32 GMT

hey guess what!

Tue, 20 Feb 2007 06:30:42 GMT

introductions and conclusions are my least favorite and worst parts of essays

enjoy!
you want to read this
though there are probobly many errors.
and lj doesnt like indenting.

Summer Time on Pivet Drive is never any fun for Harry Potter. But for me, summer is always my favorite time of year. Adventures I go on aren’t quite as magical as they are for Harry Potter, but are times that I will never forget. This summer techno and Rite Aid merged with my love of Harry Potter. Oddly enough, their combination taught me that sometimes holding my tongue can save myself and others from unnecessary embarrassment.

One warm night after a concert, my friends, Shannon and Sakura, and I went to Rite Aid in O.B. for some ice cream. But at the concert we didn’t see just any old band, we saw Harry and the Potters, formed and based off the Harry Potter series. Naturally, we found it necessary to fit the magical theme. We dressed as Hogwarts students decked out with wands, sweaters, sweatshirts, scarves, ties, skirts, and Sakura even wore a cloak. Walking into Rite Aid like this seemed a little weird, even for us, so we ditched the wands, cloak and sweatshirts in the car, though we still looked strange dressed as students in the middle of July.

We went into Rite Aid with the intentions of buying ice cream but passed it up and headed to the candy (and other assortments) aisle instead. When we were safely down the aisle, near the drink fridges, Sakura and Shannon let out a squeal of joy and excitement and started swooning over something. I wasn’t sure what they were excited about, but I wanted in on it. Apparently there was a major hottie employed at this Rite Aid and was working the register in the front of the store. I didn’t see him as we came in, but I was sure I would as we left.

Without much luck in the candy section we left empty handed and headed back to the front for ice cream. Nobody was working the stand, but after a couple minutes an employee came over. I remembered that we were wearing costumes at this point and until I recognized him I was a little embarrassed. He seemed pretty easy going and I remembered that last time I had seen him my boyfriend Kevin and I both thought he was a customer. He had a scruffy beard, wore a faded hoodie with a few holes, and pair of old, worn sandals and surprised us both as our cashier just minutes after seeing him around the store. I thought about mentioning this to Shannon and Sakura, but I had just gotten my ice cream so I was distracted and content with that.

We paid for our cones at the front register, but I still had yet to see this apparently gorgeous employee. The only male cashier left was at least 60 with glasses and silver hair, so I knew it wasn’t him. I didn’t say anything in case he was actually around, but I hoped the girls would point him out to me soon.

We moseyed around the store for at least another half hour to finish our ice cream before we left. On the way out we were tempted by a fifty-cent temporary tattoo machine, but didn’t linger there too long. We didn’t want to waste our change, even though we had money after the free concert. We headed out the double doors to the parking lot quickly where Sakura and I spotted Shannon’s little black Civic at nearly the same exact time. Out of habit we both yelled out, “Shotty!”

The three of us were still in costume (when would we have had a chance to change?) and I was getting quite irritated by my skirt. It was at least four sizes too big held up by an equally loose brown belt (without belt loops, but perfect for the costume). Because of the costume troubles, sprinting to the car for the front seat was even more difficult than usual – and unladylike.

Sakura and I got to the car at about the same time, followed closely by Shannon. Once she unlocked the car, Sakura and I both pulled the handle, swung the door open, and dove in. My head ended up where the passenger’s feet usually go in the cozy front seat while my legs flailed out the door. Somehow one of Sakura’s arms got trapped under me on the seat and her head fell near the emergency brake. Her legs also flew out the door and got tangled and crossed with mine. We were still wearing skirts.

At this point all three of us were laughing and s creaming extremely loud. The volume went up even more when Shannon turned on the car because the Party Monster soundtrack was blasting through the car’s speakers. This was when Sakura yelled out,
“Ohmygod!! That guy was SOOOOOOO HOT!!!!”
I quickly, and loudly, responded from the bottom of the car,
“Who? The one with the beard? He’s DIRTY!!!!!!!! EWWWARARAARRAAAHHH!!”
“No he’s not!”
“Yeah he is!”
“No way!”

By this time Shannon had turned up the music even louder so Nina Hagen’s “New York, New York” blared throughout the entire parking lot. Just hearing this song is an experience in itself, characterized by Hagen’s screeching, barking, and screaming all held together with elements of a “punk rock opera” mixed with techno backbeats. The thought of turning it up more really confused me and Sakura. Again, this was too much, even for us. Trying to figure out what was happening, Sakura and I peeked our heads out the door when the car started to move. This soon revealed the “hottie” (and his identity as the ice cream man) right next to the car collecting carts. He witnessed everything that had gone on in the past minute and a half.

Shannon drove pretty fast to the other side of the parking lot out of sheer embarrassment, not caring that the door was still open. Sakura and I flat out fell out of the car and got back in as quickly and normally as we could despite still blasting techno and wearing strange costumes. As we d rove off we let out one last scream of embarrassment and laughed all the way back to Shannon’s.

A night like this would never happen to a Hogwarts student, but is pretty characteristic of my friends and me. Techno, Rite Aid, and Harry potter are three elements of this random summer night that I love, but I could go without the embarrassment of yelling, not just speaking, without thinking.

the end: ghey ghey ghey!

Sun, 18 Feb 2007 08:31:01 GMT

its a good thing i want to get out of san diego

because i didnt get accepted to state

schools applied to: 5

accepted: 1
rejected: 1
unknown: 3

Tue, 13 Feb 2007 05:59:09 GMT

OmGzZz
checK out how much fun me and all my friendz had at formal guyz!
arent we hawt?
hehehehe

ahahahaha
what would i do without myself to laugh at my mean jokes?
be very lonely and unliked, thats what.

Sun, 11 Feb 2007 22:06:59 GMT

hmm well retreat was good
siq ska show last night
and a decent friday
so overall, its going well.
i feel kind of like a bad friend to a lot of people
and i'm not just trying to please everyone, i really want to see everyone
but i dont know how to do it?

eh.
it goes.

also, i need to find an event in canada this summer to plan a trip around so anyone that knows of anything cool goin on, let me knowzzzzz :)

Wed, 07 Feb 2007 04:27:16 GMT

so i've decided already that first semester was way easier.

econ + csj actually are requiring work.
unlike deang which was actually pretty easy, now that i think of it, and warrick was cake.

lame.

Tue, 06 Feb 2007 03:12:19 GMT

so i'm trying to wr ite my narrative essay right now and i'm getting way too distracted.
i stayed home from school today andi 'm still dead tired
and it sucks because now i'm behind on my gold days, which are hard days,
and i'm missing more for the retreat in a couple days
woo!

anyway, my essay is based on the time when me shmo and sak were at rite aid and listening to new york new york in the car and me and sak both dove into the front seat at the same time and i yelled that i thought the rite aid guy was dirty and he was right there and heard this all as we are hanging 1/2 out the car.

woowowowooo
hopefully it ends up being fun.

take a peek inside the machine

Writer's Block: *Lightbulb Goes Off*

Writer's Block: Lightbulb Goes Off